Conans corner

Conan’s Corner

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Welcome back, dear readers
Well finally my Facebook account is live – always excuses why it wasn’t actioned earlier, so I had to threaten a hunger strike to get things moving.  I managed to last 20 whole minutes.  Anyway, I have a lot of new friends as a result and I am getting a new blanket made especially for me with my name on it – and it’s being delivered personally by Miss Fiona (she is my best friend at the moment).
Although I am also getting friend requests from very odd sources – I have had to ask Sam about BitCoin and also what it means to grow my appendage – she got quite flustered and then pretended she hadn’t heard me. And to those people who want to friend me in order to send me naked photographs – the clue is in the name and photo – I am a CAT!  Your efforts are totally wasted on me for goodness sake.  Although cover yourselves in fur and I might have a second look … but even that is unlikely at my age. Just read the room people!
Well can I just say that I have been nothing short of OUTRAGED during the last month.  I was cunningly distracted and trapped in a cage in order to attend my yearly visit with the scary people.  Naming no names, you know who you are (scary people AND trapper). Mr Trapper Man, I also know where you live …
Carmen said that it was for my own welfare but HOW can somebody sticking pins in my neck be good for me?  It fails to make sense.  The minor saving grace was that Gypsy and Smokey had to go as well so we all grumbled and complained throughout the car journey.  AND I didn’t even get to go in the front as befits a cat of my status.  Sam said I might have been car sick if I could see the world rushing past me from the front seat but I would have liked to have seen it for myself and given my own opinion.

I also heard that Mrs Queen had died in Engerland, that’s very sad but now is there an opening for a new Monarch and where do I apply?  I would be just fabulous! Free food for cats!  Open castles for shelter cats!  Mrs Queen had strange dogs, very low to the ground, that cannot be normal?
Back to me, Marmite and Pipa have moved into our garden – I have missed Marmite, he was my wingman when I was in the other garden, so now the team is back together (hopefully to gang up on Gypsy).  Maybe a bit mean but she does bring it all on herself, she is a devil in fur quite frankly.  Even Smokey has welcomed Marmite to the team and he doesn’t like many people either – I have taught him well.

Until next month dear readers …. love and paws, Conan x

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Sam Weller

Middle aged mad cat woman - slave of 4 rescue babies